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 Posted 10/14/2005 12:33:38 AM |
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Forum Member
 
Last Login: 5/27/2009 11:36:04 PM
Posts: 256,
Visits: 678
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NOW WHY GO AND MAKE FUN OF UNCLE URHI ..THAT WAS HES FIRST KIT KAR EVER !WHERE DO YOU THINK I GET IT FROM........
COME TO THE MARKSIDE
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| Posted 10/17/2005 4:58:23 AM |
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Whose goin 4 a pint???
Last Login: 7/17/2022 12:06:22 PM
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Visits: 4,045
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Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls in the police to tell them what has happened.
First body: "Frenchman, 60, died of heart failure while making love to his mistress. Hence the enormous smile, inspector", says the Coroner.
Second body: "Scotsman, 25, won a thousand pounds on the lottery, spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one: Big Seamus Quinn from Donegal Ireland, 30, struck by lightning."
"Why is he smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
"Thought he was having his photo taken."
DE 66 IS COMING........
Believe and succeed
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| Posted 10/19/2005 10:31:48 PM |
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Forum Member
Last Login: 5/27/2009 11:36:04 PM
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TWO GUYS WERE AT THE BAR LAST NITE TALKING TO ME ABOUT WHO WENT TO THE MOON FIRST THE AMERICANS OR THE RUSSIANS...THEY ASKED ME AND I REPLIED WHO FREEKIN CARES IM GOING TO THE SUN ...THEY SAID DUMB ASS YOU CANT GO TO THE SUN YOU'LL BURN UP ...I SAID TO THE DIP SHITS HELL IM GOING AT NITE...
COME TO THE MARKSIDE
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| Posted 10/22/2005 5:15:55 AM |
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Forum Member
Last Login: 2/21/2009 6:39:31 PM
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Lord its early down here in Aus for this, but try this - it's an intelligence test
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional manager. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?
Wrong Answer.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend... except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
I doubt the following statement that this was used as a management exam is true, but it's funny as hell though.
According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.
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